Take the plunge.

Weekends are wonderful. The best of times, the end. There are a lot of cherished rituals, time honored, finely tuned practices. Mowing the grass, which is so much nicer using a human powered, reel mower, quiet enough to listen to music, no ritual is so perfect it can't be improved.

Throwing burgers on the grill is another tradition. Technically it doesn't need to be burgers, it could be brats, or steaks, or ribs, chicken, chops, whole zucchini, ears of corn, almost anything. Yesterday it was burgers, though. Of course, yesterday we started the burgers, and then the rain came, so there is no tradition so practiced it can't go wrong.

On weekends I like to go for a walk through the park. It is not a big park, but it is heavily wooded, with a well established path running through the forest, and a nice bridge spanning the small creek. Since it was warm, humid and the sky was dark, ominous and echoed with the distant rumble of thunder I had the park pretty much to myself. And something kept crashing through the woods and brush just out of sight. Whatever it was it sounded huge, hungry and carnivorous. No routine is so normal being stalked by an unseen, terrifying beast, even if it doesn't exist, won't dampen it a little.

Next week I am adding a new practice to the weekend lineup. I am going kayaking. My kayak is home, waiting, it will be licensed tomorrow, and next weekend it will be on the water, and I will be in the kayak, while it is on the water.

I know what you are thinking; "you hate boats, and you are terrified of water." True, and I have no explanation, but, I have always wanted to kayak, They say you have to face your fears, and for the most part I think that is nonsense, rubbish, just a whole load of crap. But, I am facing this one, I hope I live to write the blog post about it.

Things you don't plan for on vacation.

While staying in the Black Hills, renting a cabin, and finding your way to a slower, relaxed pace, it is vital to remember that grilling on a gas grill is nothing like using a charcoal grill.  Charcoal is friendly, controllable, warming pile of gray companions, little red smiles blinking through, gently caressing your cheeseburgers with tender warmth, motherly love.

Gas declares war on your dinner.  Lighting with an intimidating  whoosh of vaporized petroleum, it singes meat with deadly efficiency, and terrible purpose.  Whatever you do, don't turn your back on a gas grill, or run inside to grab one more beer.  It is a decision you will regret when you serve your cabin mates little blackened bricks, with a golden coat of perfectly melted cheese.

Saying the whole time, "I just turned my back for a second, and the grill went nuclear. I swear! Would you like some ketchup with your tiny, black rocks?  Boy, that cheese sure makes a nice contrast to the blackened, slightly grey exterior, doesn't it?  Almost too pretty to eat."

But, there was still some food value in the clumps of what was almost ash.  And if people are hungry enough, polite and don't know you very well you can come out with your grilling reputation intact, more or less.

One thing that eases the pain a little is a good breakfast with lots of hot, tasty coffee, bacon, eggs, toast, and real butter. But, don't tell your doctor.

Vacation can be murder to a diet, and an exercise routine. Riding in a car for endless hours, trying to drink water instead of delicious, carbonated soda, and not snack too much. Fast food for lunch, and restaurant, or diner breakfasts add up to a several small losses in the war on aging.  Returning to work, and the gym will be a chore.

But, when the view from your cabin looks like this it is worth it.  The Black Hills are a dark, wonderful, magical place, covered in pine, and ancient spirits. It is a paradise for the sense, the pine,  and the decay, the birds singing in trees that are dancing in a gentle breeze. The sights and smells of heaven.  This is not our first trip, and with any luck it won't be our last.

Oh The Joys of Spring, and Tax Preparation.

Tax season is here, and we here at Life Explained want you to get every cent you can.  So, we are offering our Tax Preparedness Preparation Course, free of charge.  We know you work hard for your money...  OK, we know you work for your money...  Alright, we know you get money on a schedule for your unique ability to not make things worse, too much, and you want to keep all of the money you can.  Let some other sucker pay for Congress, and the National Parks, you need your money.  With that in mind here are some "Non-Standard" deductions that many alleged tax return preparation professionals will miss.

1.) Don't forget to claim your beer expenses.  It is a medical necessity, an antidote to stress, and the trials of everyday life.  If your doctor will not endorse the necessary forms that is fine, we have a staff of doctors in house who will gladly write the "beer prescription" for you.

2.) Those late night trips to the Taco Hut, and Burger Heaven are charitable donations.  How else are these businesses going to stay open until 2:00 in the morning without some brave, kind soul rushing in to order the Belt Busting Behemoth Burrito, with extra Sour Cream, or the Heapin' Helpin' O' Heaviness Burger, with Secret Cheese Like Sauce.  And, if they didn't stay open until 2:00 every morning, how would the dedicated professionals manning the register, grill and drive through window replace that income.  You are almost a hero.

3.) A lot of people overlook the clothing deduction.  You need clothes to work, and they can be expensive.  Just try showing up for work in your pajamas, or your swimsuit, and soon the legitimacy of the clothing deduction becomes obvious.  And, as far as the IRS is concerned swim wear, and pajamas, are clothes.

Tune in tomorrow when we discuss the best tax sheltered retirement accounts that you can start with the change from your couch.

Don't fret tax season, we are here to help, it is not a difficult process, one even we can understand.  And, in the unlikely case you are audited, we have daily flights to many countries that don't extradite.  With an inflight refreshments, including a small, small drink, and free peanuts, at least 10 but not more than 15.