Heading to Mars, do you need a lift?

It seems that Bill Nye, the so called Science Guy, co wrote an article for National Geograpic explaining how a manned mission to Mars was a possibility.  Well, Mr. Nye, the "science guy" let me ask you something.  Why didn't we think of that?  Oh, we did!

In the article Bill, (you don't mind if we call you Bill, do you?) explains the potential vehicle for transport, and the costs involved.  Well, Bill, we would like you to consider using our Uber Mars Ride Sharing program.  We are going, anyway, you might as well save a few bucks, and let us take care of the driving.

That's right, Billy, (you don't mind if we call you Billy, do you?) you can grab a newspaper, and recline in our premium leather seats, and let the kitchen prepare your food, to taste, from our complete menu, including Kosher, low calorie, low carbohydrate, and gluten free choices.

But, why stop there, William (you don't mind if we call you William, do you?)? Join the other passengers in the theater portion of the Uber Rocket to Mars, and enjoy first run movies with Dolby, surround sound, and complimentary buttered popcorn.  Or, head down to the arcade, and compete in one of the many video game tournaments taking place.  There is always something new and exciting while traveling with Life Explained Interplanetary Uber Lifts.

And, Willy, (you don' mind if we call you Willy, do you?) what do you have planned on this visit to Mars? Why not stay in the brand new Life Explained Luxury Hotel and Casino.  Covering three acres of prime Martian real estate this fantastic new hotel is home to the largest casino not located on the planet Earth (we think), an indoor water park, three lounges, two theatres and a indoor race track, in case you want to play the ponies a bit, while visiting the Red Planet, and an RV park, but no one has used that, yet.

So, is the trip to Mars possible?  It sure is.  Is it affordable? With our new reduced rates* you can't afford not to go.  Is it fun? Heck yes! Where do I go to sign up? Email us, or leave a comment on this post, and we will book you on the next flight.  But, you might have to ride with Bill Nye.  Will that be a problem?

Oh The Joys of Spring, and Tax Preparation.

Tax season is here, and we here at Life Explained want you to get every cent you can.  So, we are offering our Tax Preparedness Preparation Course, free of charge.  We know you work hard for your money...  OK, we know you work for your money...  Alright, we know you get money on a schedule for your unique ability to not make things worse, too much, and you want to keep all of the money you can.  Let some other sucker pay for Congress, and the National Parks, you need your money.  With that in mind here are some "Non-Standard" deductions that many alleged tax return preparation professionals will miss.

1.) Don't forget to claim your beer expenses.  It is a medical necessity, an antidote to stress, and the trials of everyday life.  If your doctor will not endorse the necessary forms that is fine, we have a staff of doctors in house who will gladly write the "beer prescription" for you.

2.) Those late night trips to the Taco Hut, and Burger Heaven are charitable donations.  How else are these businesses going to stay open until 2:00 in the morning without some brave, kind soul rushing in to order the Belt Busting Behemoth Burrito, with extra Sour Cream, or the Heapin' Helpin' O' Heaviness Burger, with Secret Cheese Like Sauce.  And, if they didn't stay open until 2:00 every morning, how would the dedicated professionals manning the register, grill and drive through window replace that income.  You are almost a hero.

3.) A lot of people overlook the clothing deduction.  You need clothes to work, and they can be expensive.  Just try showing up for work in your pajamas, or your swimsuit, and soon the legitimacy of the clothing deduction becomes obvious.  And, as far as the IRS is concerned swim wear, and pajamas, are clothes.

Tune in tomorrow when we discuss the best tax sheltered retirement accounts that you can start with the change from your couch.

Don't fret tax season, we are here to help, it is not a difficult process, one even we can understand.  And, in the unlikely case you are audited, we have daily flights to many countries that don't extradite.  With an inflight refreshments, including a small, small drink, and free peanuts, at least 10 but not more than 15.