Lookout, oh why bother.

Living in a city has many difficulties. Many instances of incredible, profound reminders of the frailty of humanity. Often, I worry for myself, my friends, my family, distant relatives, forgotten acquaintances, strangers walking down the street. I worry for people I will never meet, or see. Hazards are everywhere, we are surrounded by painful, near lethal dangers. I see the signs everywhere.

Today I stopped to get gasoline for my car. Since we buy food, a lot of food, food enough for our sons, who eat like a village, the grocery store gives a discount on our gasoline. I'm not really sure how it works, it might be Reaganomics trickle down theory, I am still at a loss. I just know when my wife says we have money at Kroger I stop and fill up there. 

To activate the discount you have to scan your membership card. They don't want just anybody getting our stuff, after all. There is a little portal into the machine and you scan your card under that and it knows who you are, and probably what you buy, maybe even how much you earn, it might know your hopes and dreams, your darkest fears, what book you are reading, they can put a lot of information in a bar code, you know.

Under the little portal is a sign warning people not to stare into the laser that scans the membership card. You would have to kneel down, push your head against the gas pump, and then wrench your neck around at an awful angle. Maybe that is what they are worried about.  Hordes of people limping around the parking lot, unable to look left or right, moaning in agony, like a scene from "Night of the Living Dead." Which from what I understand was not all that commercially successful.

During my lunchtime strolls downtown I walk past a lot of parking lots. Yes, lots of lots, and I walk past them. Some are public, some private, and some are just threatening. Posted security people, big steel doors, cameras, maybe they are worried about zombies. One in particular concerns me. It is the parking lot for the headquarters of some religious headquarters. 

Clearly, they do not want any unauthorized anybody parking in their lot. Or even trying to walk through as a short cut to the pretzel truck just on the other side of the church, serving the finest sugar/cinnamon soft pretzel in the greater Columbus area*. So they put up this sign, clearly indicating "if you trespass we will crush you." Or, perhaps, since it is a religious organization "we will smite you down." 

All in all life is perilous, terrible, and nobody will be left unscathed, even with our help. 

But, we want to leave you feeling good about your odds, no matter how silly that may be. Here, to that end, is our favorite Shel Silverstein. Our legal department insists we add this disclaimer, we are not responsible for any injuries, illnesses, deaths, divorces or dismemberment's due to foolish attempts to accomplish anything. We just like the poem.

Thank you, the Life Explained staff and management.

*Man, they are good, but don't take the risk, just walk around.

Don't make that mistake.

If you were to take the expressway from the northeast corner of Columbus to Downtown you would notice a construction site.  If you are driving early, before sunrise, you might be amazed at the action, and the light.  It is so bright, and so hectic it resembles an ant colony lit up by a hundred blinding white suns, one in each room, on every floor.  If you made that trip daily for an extended period you would be surprised at the speedy progress.  You might even be so impressed by the efficiency that you would ask your co-workers what was being built.

It is possible that your co-worker, despite being very knowledgeable about such things, would have no clue.  So, you might check on line, looking at the local governments building permits, and find nothing.  You might check the local papers archives and find no mention of a new building in that area.  It is entirely possible that the local television stations could tell you nothing about the mysterious, well lit building that is being completed so quickly.

Maybe you could drive by on your lunch break, but the fencing around the building may be so opaque, high and absolute that you could see nothing, and would still not know.  No signs proudly proclaiming  the ultimate occupant, no mention of the contractor, the architect or the principals of any kind, anywhere.

At this point you might be so intrigued, or frustrated, or both, that you would not be able to keep yourself from approaching the security guard with abnormally long arms, a head that seemed too large, and the slightly sickly, slightly shiny green tint, what was being built, and how it was being completed so quickly.

That would be a big mistake, trust me.  There are things you just don't want to know, and this is one of them.

Disturbing News From The UK.

In what has become a remarkably repetitive story line there is more terrible Arachnid news from Great Britain.  According to the Time Magazine Facebook page, an "invasion" of venomous spiders caused a school to close for a day.  That's right, venomous spiders are invading a school in England!

It has been coming for a long time.  We here at Life Explained warned you here, We told you  and here, Again, we told you, but people like to go through life with blinders on, hearing what they want to hear.  Not that blinders affect what you hear, but people who only see what they want to see, are not too keen on listening to bad...  Well you know what we mean.

Apparently people are not going to be happy until the entire Island Nation is overrun with the terrifying creatures.  We would look into this possibly fatal (if you only read the first two paragraphs, or extremely painful if you read the last paragraph) infestation ourselves, but we hate flying, and spiders, so flying to see spiders is probably not going to happen.  But, we will keep an eye on our Facebook feed and let you know when it is safe to come out of the refrigerator.  Spiders hate cold, you know?

Not to scale

You can see it here.  http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/10/23/hey-the-new-kid-is-kind-of-cute-wait-thats-a-venomous-spider/